Without fear, regret, or guilt

Through trial and error, I have come to the conclusion that I want to pursue activities where I feel alive, connected, creative, and capable. I am lucky because I’ve found pursuits that meet that criteria, including blogging, working in clay, playing the ukulele, and so on.

My decision means that I don’t have to pursue activities where I feel unable and uninspired, even if those activities are good for me. I tried yoga for several months. I so wanted it to work out for health, flexibility, and body awareness. I went once or twice a week, but it was such a struggle. I finally decided not to return—a difficult decision.

By giving myself permission to discontinue activities, I don’t mean that I shouldn’t push through discomfort. I had fun harmonizing at ukulele sing-alongs (read more about my ukulele obsession), so I decided to register for a harmony singing class. I was so excited! But the first class was uncomfortable—we jumped right in without introduction. I was definitely swimming upstream. By the end of the session, I felt alone and disheartened, unsure if I would return.

As I examined why I felt the way I did, I realized that I had expected someone else to make me comfortable, which wasn’t very realistic. I decided to attend the class again (things are always changing, right?). At the next session, my classmates were friendly, the teacher was welcoming, songs were fun to sing—an all-around 180-degree turnaround. I believe, though, that my transformed attitude—a willingness to reach out and join in—was the biggest game changer. At the same time, if it hadn’t worked out, I could quit without fear, regret, or guilt, knowing that I had given my best try.

So once again, life appears to be about doing what we can with an open, loving attitude—toward others and toward ourselves. With that in mind, my hope is that I can make choices and decisions about what works and doesn’t work without fear, regret, or guilt.

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6 thoughts on “Without fear, regret, or guilt

      • Yes, that would be fun. I’m deeply involved in a couple of work projects right now–wait, now I must ask if they make me feel alive, connected, creative, and capable, or unable and uninspired . . . yes, more of the former and less of the latter for sure; but interestingly I observe: too much of anything can be depleting (more lessons)–let me get through them a bit and we’ll stum and slum.

      • Thanks for the chuckle and the good points. Bark when you can break away for a bite with or without busking.

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  1. It takes courage to discontinue something that we’ve decided to do and doesn’t give us the satisfaction we expected or need. I think it takes more courage to stop because there’s always that hope that if I just try a little harder it will work out, and the nagging fear that I gave up too soon.

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